Dreaming of romantic days with your favourite Korean idol? Looking for love in the Land of Morning Calm? Started dating in Korea already? Well you should definitely read this Korean dating advice for expats before declaring your first āsarang-haeā to your Korean partner.
There are many dangers to dating in Korea that you may not be aware of, from knowing when to celebrate romantic days together, what you can and canāt do in public, and the problems youāll face if you decide to get serious one day.
Whilst this article shouldnāt be taken too seriously, it might offer some practical Korean dating advice for expats who are looking for or found love in Korea. It wonāt stop you getting kimchi-slapped, however.
Even if you donāt plan to date in Korea, this article will introduce you to various cultural aspects of romance, love, and life in Korea that I hope youāll find interesting. Read on to discover the 10 dangers of dating in Korea.
Disclaimer:Ā This site contains affiliate links and I may earn commission for purchases made after clicking one of these links.Ā Affiliate Disclaimer
About This Korean Dating Advice For Expats
First of all, and this is really important, please read the following message before going any further in this silly article.
This is a work of satire and designed to point out cultural differences between Korea and the rest of the world and maybe make some people laugh a little bit.
Please donāt take this as actual Korean dating advice for expats ā you will probably end up very alone if you do. However, thatās not to say that these 10 dangers of dating in Korea arenāt real.
I hope that by reading through this article youāll learn a bit about cultural differences (or similarities) between dating in Korea and the rest of the world.
For a more balanced and deeper look into Korean culture, Iād recommend checking out my more serious articles about Korean Culture And Etiquette and Facts About South Korea.
10 Dangers Of Dating In Korea For Expats
This Korean dating advice for expats is based on real-life experiences of myself and others who are dating (or married) in Korea. Itās also based on my own research and observations of Korean culture, couples, and traditions.
Whilst some of these issues might apply to other countries, Iāve tried to explain how they relate to Korea specifically.
Iāve personally been dating a Korean for more than 5 years, through good times and bad (mostly good). Iāve also attended several lovely weddings between Koreans and expats.
The views expressed here are meant to apply to anyone, but may be slightly skewed towards my own perspective as a male expat. Sorry about that.
Now Iām sure youāre eager to learn all about the top 10 dangers of dating in Korea for expats, so without further ado here they are.
Remember: these are not really meant to be taken literally and I donāt endorse any unnecessary stereotypes or prejudices about life or love in Korea.
1: Youāll Have To Co-ordinate Your Clothes
Thatās right, when dating in Korea your individual style is a thing of the past. From now on youāll have to go shopping together to pick out the best outfit that you can both wear to help everyone know that youāre a couple when youāre out in public.
Korea has been obsessed with coupleās clothing for several decades now with the practice started by newlyweds who wanted to show their newly-married status by wearing the same clothes. Nowadays itās been adopted by Korean couples to show theyāre dating.
As an expat dating in Korea, you should definitely make sure your partner doesnāt have any strange fashion tastes that will end up in your wardrobe! Hopefully matching haircuts wonāt be coming in the future, too.
Korean dating advice for expats #1: Embrace this chance to show your affection for your Korean partner, but be sure to draw the line at matching outfits for just the two of you. This danger can spiral out of control and suddenly the whole family (and your pets) are wearing matching outfits and thatās a weird place to be!
2: Hugs & Kisses In Public Arenāt Allowed
This second danger of dating in Korea probably explains the first ā youāre not allowed to kiss, hug or show any public displays of affection (PDA) in Korea. If youāre used to expressing your feelings of love in public, then this will definitely be a tough one to handle.
Iām not talking about wild bouts of passion either, a simple hug can be enough to disrupt the social harmony and cause you to receive angry shouts from offended viewers. This is not a uniquely Korean situation, but you should be aware of it if you plan to date in Korea.
In all seriousness, Iāve been shouted at by Koreans for PDA (even in modern Seoul). If youāre lucky, your Korean partner wonāt be too bothered by what are increasingly considered outdated rigid moral values, but definitely keep this in mind when out in public. Fortunately, holding hands is generally acceptable.
Korean dating advice for expats #2: If you feel like you canāt control your passion when out and about, try to find a quiet alley to have a quick cuddle and kiss before heading back into the ever-watching gaze of the general population. Also, PDA rules donāt apply so strictly when on holiday.
3: Dates Will Be Complicated & Embarrassing
Dating in Korea involves a lot more than a trip to the cinema or Italian meal for two with pasta, wine, and candles. Expats looking for love in Korea should be prepared for more complicated (and potentially embarrassing) dates than theyāre used to.
Not only will you be wearing your matching outfits and keeping a respectable distance from each other, youāll also have to go somewhere different every time, a hot new place in town, and somewhere that looks good on Instagram.
Dates could include an afternoon at a racoon cafe, an elaborate photo session at the latest cool cafe, a day dressing up in retro Korean outfits, a long journey out to a new cafe in the mountains, or even an afternoon petting alpacas.
Korean dating advice for expats #3: Always turn up to a date well dressed. Itās better to be over-dressed than under-dressed, especially if youāre going to take lots of pictures. When eating or drinking, order whatever looks the best for pictures regardless of taste.
Being single in Korea is a great way to stay slim and avoid eating big meals. A real problem of dating in Korea is suddenly gaining access to the many Korean restaurants that youād only be able to visit when thereās two or more people.
No one goes to eat Korean BBQ, budae jjigae (army stew), or dak-galbi (spicy chicken stir-fry ā pictured) by themselves, but when youāre dating in Korea, these dishes are suddenly available to you and your partner.
These dishes are incredible and thereās really nothing better than moving from a lonely plate of gimbap or bowl of ramyeon to a steaming pot of something spicy and fried for two. Donāt expect to be able to stick to your diet once these Korean culinary delights become available to you!
Korean dating advice for expats #4: Limit the number of nights out together each week. Starve yourself on non-date nights and live for the shared meals out. If your partner suggests adding cheese or noodles to your dish, you know youāve found love.
5: Youāll Always Be Second To Their Idol
This is just one of those things youāll have to accept when dating in Korea. There are many popular idols and your significant other is likely to have chosen their favourite long before they ever met you.
Whether theyāre obsessed with someone from BTS, Black Pink, TWICE, or Big Bang (or all of them), you have to admit to yourself that youāre just never going to be as handsome / pretty / talented / adored as they are. This is their first crush, their first obsession, and itās for life.
Korean dating advice for expats #5: Apparently Iām competing against Tony from H.O.T. and as long as he never meets my Korean girlfriend, itās probably not too dangerous. Never let your Korean partner meet their favourite idol to be safe.
6: Valentineās Day Will Confuse You
For most countries in the world, Valentineās Day on February 14th is a romantic day where coupleās come together to celebrate their feelings for each other with gifts and greedy meals. Whilst Valentineās Day still exists in Korea, itās not quite the same as in other countries.
In Korea, Valentineās Day is a day when women buy gifts for men. That seems rather unfair, you might think, but thereās actually a second Valentineās-like Day on March 14th, called White Day, when men return the favour. Two romantic days for the price for one!
And if thatās not enough, April 14th is Black Day ā a day for single people to celebrate being⦠single. Actually, there are 12 āromantic daysā in a year, all on the 14th. Thereās a day for kissing (not in public), a day for exchanging diaries, taking photos, drinking wine, etc., etc.
Donāt forget to celebrate them all if you want to make the most of dating in Korea.
Korean dating advice for expats #6: If in doubt, buy your loved one a present on Valentineās Day. Or every month, just to be sure. Donāt trust them when they tell them that Valentineās day is for men / women to buy gifts as itāll probably be the opposite of what they tell you. Also, Korean BBQ is a romantic meal out.
7: Youāll End Up Adopting Korean Expressions
Whilst dating in Korea as an expat, you might find yourself improving your Korean skills a lot. After all, you have the perfect resource available to help you level up your language skills. However, this can also be a danger of dating in Korea.
Koreans have a wide range of expressions that they utter in a range of situations. With constant exposure to them, they might end up replacing your own native language. Also, your partner might end up calling you certain names that you adopt and use with non-Koreans, too.
To express frustration you might find yourself saying āah, jinjja!ā (oh, really!), or nodding along in agreement with āne, majayoā (thatās true). Some other examples include calling people ābaboā or āmeongcheongā, which both translate as being stupid ā something Iām often called, haha.
The danger comes when you start using these Korean Expressions with non-Koreans and people who donāt know Korean. You might get some strange looks and people asking you what youāre talking about.
Korean dating advice for expats #7: Do your best to Learn Korean, it will certainly help a lot, especially if you want to impress your partnerās family. Find a way to balance using your own language and Korean, such as agreeing to alternate between the two languages on different days. Find out more in this article:
8: Youāll Have A Hard Time Convincing People To Come To Your Wedding
After some time dating in Korea you might realise that you want to go ahead and get married to your Korean partner. Good for you! There are an increasing number of Korean and foreigner weddings every year. In fact, of all the Foreigners In Korea, there are more than 166,000 international couples.
Korean wedding culture, which I could write a whole article about, is quite different from what most expats might be used to. One major difference is that you have to pay to attend a wedding ā the āfeeā depending on how close you are to the couple. I typically pay around 50,000 KRW ($45) for a friendās wedding.
Yes, in Korea guests are expected to pay a fee to come to the wedding. Friends, family, and co-workers might be expected to pay even if they donāt come to the wedding!
This isnāt really that different from buying gifts for the newlyweds and certainly saves time when planning what to get them. And they get to choose how to spend the cash.
The idea of paying for a wedding is that youāre helping the couple get set for their life together in a new place. Many Korean couples move into a new apartment after getting married, and the money is to help them get set up.
Korean dating advice for expats #8: If youāre attending a friendās wedding in Korea, make sure you send them an invite to your wedding later on. Invite as many people as you can for maximum wedding-profit. But remember, you also need to provide a big buffet for your guests.
9: Your Children Will Make You Feel Stupid
After getting married, you should probably have lots of children to help out Koreaās shrinking population problem. Then you can pass on all this helpful Korean dating advice to your own kids.
The problem with having kids in Korea, besides the exorbitant fees youāll have to pay for private education, is that theyāll probably make you feel kind of stupid. I donāt mean that youāll be embarrassed by them and make you regret having kids, I mean that theyāll be much smarter than you.
Unless youāre from Singapore, chances are your children will have a much higher IQ than you when theyāve finished digesting their diet of education. Currently, South Koreans are the 4th smartest in the world (Behind Singapore, China, & Hong Kong), but the Future IQ Scores based on the ability of high school students puts South Korea at number 2.
Can you handle your own child knowing more than you?
Korean dating advice for expats #9: Raising a kid in Korea can be very expensive, especially if you want them to get into a top Korean university. Make sure they get a good enough job to pay you back in the future for your investment.
10: You Might End Up Living In Korea Forever
The biggest danger of dating in Korea, after surviving dating, getting married, and having smart kids, is that you might spend the rest of your life in the Land of Morning Calm!
Once youāve spent all this time living in Korea, adapting to a Korean diet and learning all those Korean phrases, you might not want to head back to your own country.
If youāre lucky, you might be able to find yourself a spot on the side of a hill for a traditional Korean grave, like the ones in the pictures above.
Wouldnāt that be terrible?
Korean dating advice for expats #10: Start saving up for your pension now and find a nice spot to retire to. Iād recommend somewhere on Jeju Island with a small rice field / tangerine forest so you can live out your days living off the earth and enjoy staring out into the waves.
Want To Know More About Expat Life In Korea?
This article was designed to introduce some aspects of Korean culture loosely based around the issues you might find dating in Korea as an expat. However, thereās so much more to understanding Korean culture that hasnāt been covered here.
If youāre interested in knowing more about Korean culture, etiquette, expat life in Korea, or my own personal story in Korea, these articles below are a great place to get started.
Got your own story about love and dating in Korea that you want to share? Then please feel free to post a comment below.
NEED TRAVEL ADVICE FOR SOUTH KOREA?
Join Korea Travel Advice on Facebook | Discover amazing places to see in Korea | Connect with a friendly community | Get essential advice for your Korean journey.
Korean Travel Essentials
To save you time and money when you travel to Korea, here are my personal recommended Korea travel essentials.
Korea Electronic Travel Authorisation (K-ETA)
Most countries need a K-ETA to travel to Korea. Apply online before you travel only with the Official K-ETA Site.
Transportation
The best way to get around cheaply and conveniently is with a T-Money Card. No tickets and discounts on every ride.
WiFi & Sim Cards
Pre-order a Korean Sim Card or a Portable WiFi Router and collect when you arrive at Incheon Airport. Collection desks are open 24 hours. Grab & Go.
Incheon Airport Transfer
Donāt want to carry heavy suitcases? Book an Incheon Airport Private Transfer & relax to or from the airport.
Korea Rail Pass
If plan to use Koreaās high speed train network, then save money and get unlimited rides with a Korea Rail Pass.
Hotels In Seoul
Hereās the 10 Best Hotels In Hongdae, Seoulās coolest district, and 10 Budget Hotels In Myeongdong which are close to Seoulās sights. I recommend Klook or Agoda for the best deals.
Flights To Korea
Always look around before you book flights. I recommend flight comparison sites such as Expedia and Skyscanner for the best deals to fly to Korea.
Learn Korean
Want to learn Korean before you travel to Korea? I recommend 90 Day Korean as they have well-structured lessons and loads of useful resources.
Share Your Thoughts
If you enjoyed reading this article, or if you have any thoughts about it that you want to share, please feel free to leave a message in the comments below. Iād love to hear your feedback about this article and the subject.
Thanks for reading. If you want to help me to create more great content in the future, why not buy me a coffee?
Liked This? Pin It For Others
If you enjoyed reading this article, then please go ahead and share this with your friends on Pinterest.
Dear Joel, I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog.
When I typed ‘how to say excuse me in Korean’ on Facebook search, Joel’s Travel Tips popped up.
Been following your interesting articles since.
Keep on writing.
Thanks very much. I’m glad you like them š More to come soon.
Hi Joel,
What a fabulous read of your dating tips and (EPIK guide also)in Korea ! Giggled my way through! Yes, you must keep writing!
I particularly enjoyed the story of the ahjumma cooking your meat.š. How sweet!
As an Australian teacher with over 10 years non recent teaching experience and over the age of 50, would I get a job in EPIK or anywhere else? All my teaching experience is elementary and years 3,4,5.
Hi, happy to hear you enjoyed the articles š
As a teacher, you could certainly apply for teaching jobs in Korea. I think EPIK is open to anyone under 62, so you could try that. As you have teaching experience, you might be able to apply for private elementary schools, too. There are some Christian schools in Korea that hire foreign teachers, in case that’s relevant for you. Otherwise, there are private cram schools (hagwons) that are a good first option for foreigners looking to move to Korea. Try some websites like Dave’s ESL Cafe (eslcafe.com) and eslrok.com. Good luck.
Hi, your article is very interesting! I will visit Seoul NexT month and Thank you for your post !
Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it š